Getting over the flu

God the past week and a half have been a real struggle with my health.

Wednesday 18th July I was on a late flight home from Sydney and I knew I was getting sick. The next two days I was sure I has just caught a bad cold, so I didn't really look after myself properly...then the flu hit me. Every body part ached. My skin was hot and cold at the same time and I just could not get my body warm. Even standing in an almost boiling hot shower I felt cold. I was totally stuffed up in the head and my ears but I didn't really have a runny nose. I started a deep chest cough on the Thursday, which now 9 days later, I still haven't really got rid of.

I didn't eat much for 3 or 4 days because I just felt so bad and it was amazing how quickly I lost weight. I was keeping my fluids up but still dropped to low 57kg but I looked worse. My mother said I looked like I was at least 5kg lighter and it was not a good look. She had me over for dinner last Thursday to fattened me up with a roast pork!

I started running again mid-last week but only 20-30 minutes at the most. I sounded like an asthmatic emphysema sufferer as I ran and had no energy. Even now the longest run I have been able to do is about 45 minuts and it was very slow. The one benefit has been that I have been running with my beautiful yellow labrador Harry. He is normally only good for about 5km before he wants to lag behind and amble back home, but this week we have been running at the same slow pace and finishing together! I think the worst of it is over now.

Weighing in

I have decided that I am only going to weigh myself once a week now on Monday mornings.

The scales are out of bounds at all other times!

Bad day or two

On Wednesday I started to come down with a cold, which now is worse than what I first thought.

My nose is stuffed, I can't stop coughing, I have a unbelievable pain up my neck from in between my shoulder blades and all of my skin feels like it is sunburnt. I am sitting on my couch with the central heating up on 28 degrees but I am still cold. God I want to die.

I have been a bit of a sooky-la-la the past two days. I know it is because I am sick. I am so lonely and I hate being alone, especially when I feel so bad.

Build a bridge and get over it right?!

Run to Eat

There is a very interesting thread on CoolRunning titled Do you eat to run or run to eat? where the question has be posted by Felisaffe: "...how intricate the connection people's running is with their eating..."

This is a huge issue for me nowdays. I definitely run to eat and I am borderline on having a major eating disorder.

I never used to be like this. When I started running in 2003, I ran purely for fitness and simply to see what I was capable of. Over the past 12-18 months I have increased my training, and therefore had an additional weightloss which I admit I love. I like looking lean - to me it makes me feel more like a 'runner'. With every single thing I eat I mentally count the kilojoules content and keep a daily total in my head. The minutes I run are -ve kJs which will then allow me to eat something later in the day. If I don't run then I will deny myself food. I always feel guilty about the food I eat and will always weigh up [pardon the pun] the input vs the output.

So how did I become obsessed? I think my marriage breakdown had a lot to do with it. I have now become more concerned about how I look. My self-confidence has taken a battering and I would often pose the question to myself "who would want to hook up with a women in her mid-30's with two kids?" I want to look the best I can and I think I look better slimmer.

The bigger question now is how do I break out of the cycle. I hate it but I can't see any way to stop.

I have put on a couple of kgs since Six Foot Track - which a few people have said looks better on me for it - but I hate it.

Gold Coast Done - 3:36.48

Not as bad as I thought it would be!

My plan was to have no plan. Anyone reading this would know full well that my training over the past 2 months has been simply woeful and without any sort of routine. Having only done three runs of 30km plus since Six Foot Track I really did not expect too achieve much:

- 31.8km Maroondah Dam race, 15th April
- 35km around Williamstown, 3rd June
- 34km with CRs around Capital City trail, 10th June